I am feeling tired and otherwise good post egg retrieval. I can tell my ovaries are still swollen. I had some GI issues to work through, fortunately 24 hours of liquids, vitamin C, and probiotics we are back on track! I was actually awake at a normal time this morning and tried to write then. Now I write after taking an hour long nap.
IVF and fertility journeys can be extremely unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed. After having 18 eggs retrieved, I expected my embryology call Friday to tell us we had 6-8 embryos. Instead my doctor called. We had an incredible 15 mature eggs, but only 2 embryos. I was quite shocked. So yesterday I rested and processed.
One benefit of traveling to our clinic is the time to process in the car and the separation from day to day stuff. About halfway home I described it to Steven as this "It's as if we made it to the championship (18 eggs) and lost. In a few days, I will look back at the season (6 embryos total) and be proud and grateful. Right now I just feel sad."
Steven also shared that the journey as husband and spouse is difficult too. People don't ask him how he is. They ask "How's Rachel?" Yes a lot has gone on in my body that is the reason for the question. I am also posting about it to process. What Steven brought up is how the man's role in a fertility journey is under valued and sort of taken for granted. He has had to weather all of the hormone and emotional storms. He has had to do the heavy lifting as the days "I just can't even" increase. Steven has been on the bench waiting for his chance, only to be told to wait or try again or that he didn't do enough. My husband is a rock, and I love when he shares that things have been challenging too. A friend who has been through years of fertility treatments (and is now pregnant!) shared with me that her and her husband had to call a time out and say "SAME TEAM." Fertility treatments can really challenge a marriage. Both people feel inadequate, alone, helpless, broken, shamed and other things at some point in the process. And no one can really prepare you for the fact that starting IVF is a 4 month process to pregnancy IF everything goes perfectly. For many couples, a different challenge presents each step of the way. It takes two to make a baby and they have to be on the same team.
Our journey has been this-
Cycle 1 - 1 egg - 1 embryo
Cycle 2- 6 (or 7) eggs - 4 embryos - 1 genetically healthy
Cycle 3- 8 eggs - 1 embryo- freeze without testing
Cycle 4- 10 eggs - 6 embryos- 3 genetically healthy
Cycle 5- 18 eggs- 2 embryos- freeze without testing
In cycle 5 we used the same protocol as cycle 4 and I expected similar results. After Cycle 2 we did a transfer and I miscarried. Now we have 3 tested, day 4/5 embryos and 3 embryos, not tested frozen day 1.
Once I start my period I believe I will go on birth control, then estrogen, then progesterone shots then transfer. At that point I will be pregnant. We wait 10 days then do a blood test to confirm. Timing wise that matches when a women in a naturally occuring pregnancy is late and misses her period.
I am going to drink all the coffee and some of the alcohol this week. Then everything will be cleaned up as if pregnant to have the best transfer (implantation). Dates depend on my period and travel. Estimated 8/14 week. I do plan to post here every step of the way. This means you will know I am pregnant very early in the first trimester. I will not be publicly announcing or celebrating until after we graduate from the fertility clinic, approximately 10 weeks or a little later when in the 2nd trimester. Estimated early November. Then we will all do the happy baby dance!
